Giving without Receiving

What do you do when you give someone a gift and they receive it unenthusiastically?
Do you think you chose a bad gift?
Give the person the benefit of the doubt?
Maybe she’s had a long day, she’s tired, she’s probably thinking about more important things.
Even when I put so much effort into it?
Why is there such a struggle to give and not expect anything in return?
Just some enthusiasm?
I don’t ask for promises of undying love.
I too cannot promise undying love.
Still is it too much to ask?
Damn tug of war.

Deteriorate

Demon Hunter – Deteriorate (Fan Video)

This is my heart song Lord.

Time has had its way with me
My broken, tired hands can’t build a thing
The wires that have held me still
Embedded now in flesh, define my will
The idle of my days has won
The empty I have fed has made me numb
Despite what you will find in me
The failures of my past still swell beneath

(Pre-chorus:)
I need a heart that carries on through the pain
When the walls start collapsing again
Give me a soul that never ceases to follow
Despite the infection within

(Chorus:)
Our careless feet leaving trails
Never minding the fragile dirt that we all end in

This is where I find my fall
The cares that held me life don’t work at all
And every step away from here
Is closer to the plague I hold so dear

Awaiting my end
Breathing in the day that finds me new
Redemption begins
Bleeding out the flaws in place of you

- Deteriorate by Demon Hunter

Haircut

Just got my haircut. Note to self, my fringe curls so don’t cut it too short. I look like a Beatle now. Hehe.

Post #93

I was on the bus on the way home. I was passing the Tanglin Mall bus stop at about 12 midnight and I saw this old lady. I think she looked like she was about 55 or 60 years old. She wore this blue clothes which I assume is a uniform of some sorts. Let’s call her “Ah-mah” because she could be someone’s granny.

Ah-mah had just gotten off 106, probably changing the bus to some other destination. The residences in Tanglin are for the rich and famous. Ah-mah doesn’t have that luxury, she had to work till 11pm and had to take the bus home, alone.

Right this moment, I see Ah-mah with one leg up on the kerb and one leg down on the road. Her hand was on her right knee, (the leg on the kerb) as if she was resting for a while because it took too much effort for her to get off the street onto the sidewalk.

A boy with earphones plugged into his ears, who must be not much older than 20 was sitting, waiting for his bus. Let’s call him “Kevin”.

Ah-mah tries once to heave herself onto the sidewalk, but she doesn’t manage, so she continues to rest on her right leg. Kevin is watching. From where I was in the bus, he looked somewhat baffled. Ah-mah tried again and she doesn’t make it again. She tries a third time, by this time my bus was moving off, in the corner of my eye Ah-mah looked like she managed to get up onto the sidewalk. I hope she didn’t fall or get hurt or anything.

As the bus drove off, I saw a Maserati at the junction waiting for the lights to turn. Is there a link to this story I am trying to tell? You decide.

Now, I’m not saying I did the right thing, because I was selfish and tired and so I refused to get off the bus to help. Kevin could have helped but he did not.

We are placed each day in different situations, at different times and places. Look around you, a need can be filled by you. Someone can be blessed because of your little act of kindness.

“You are the light of the world. A city set on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. – Matthew 5:14-16

Update: Thoughts

I update because I want to remember this phase of life that I am at right now.

I am struggling with my school work, at first it was a lack of interest and motivation and now it seems like I will end up barely scraping through this semester. A part of myself tells me that as long as I get my degree it is all well and good but another part of myself accuses me of wasting my parents’ money.

I mean come on, do I even know how much it costs to send me here to study? It is hard to study something I cannot grasp or I refuse to try to grasp. I try but it doesn’t come easily, like History, or the Korean language, or even some Science subjects.

I just hope that I will make it through this semester and the next, then I’ll be a degree holder and my parents will be happy and if they’re happy then I am happy. I can then pursue the things I want to do.

“Hello world”, I will say that again when I am finally rid of this iffy phase in my life.

More Better Friend

Here is my More Better Friend, I don’t know if he’s seen this, I thought I’d like to share it with people! And if you are my friend, haven’t been on Facebook, do it now! And uh, ADD ME!

Hurhurhur.

On another note, I am having trouble reading Ephesians.

A Potentially Disastrous Event

Disastrous if I was with my girlfriend, but everyone knows I’m single now.

You see, I went to a Mango boutique to meet a friend, a girl-friend. While she was making her purchase, a sales person said she recognised me and said she saw me help her (my friend) carry the shopping bags and waiting for her patiently!

But, I was there with another friend the other time. It would have been potentially disastrous if my girlfriend was with me! (If I had one)

“Who you carry shopping bags for huhhh?!?!?!” *Pulls ear*

Thought #1

When you think your problem is the biggest problem in the world, think again. Think about a bigger problem, there is bound to be a bigger problem, search the news on the internet and you are sure to find bigger problems than the one you’re going through right now.

What sparked this thought was a small issue. I realise now that I cannot even call it a problem.

You see it has been raining in Perth on and off for a good week now and I had left my clothes out to dry thinking that my self-assembled clothes rack was indestructible and that my balcony was all-weather. I was wrong.

When I came back from church my clothes racks and clothes were strewn all over the floor like Nazgul had swooped in and were here searching for the ring.

Maybe, just maybe they were here.

So I had clothes that were drenched and I was frustrated to the max because I am leaving for Sydney later tonight! Then I was reminded of bigger issues out in the world than the one I was currently in, such as the orphans in Africa who have no food or shelter.

So here I was grumbling and cursing about my minute to the max situation and I forgot that some clothes were dry and that there was a laundrette for me to dry my clothes! O my Liang, a fool you are!

So, remember there are bigger things to worry about, like God not getting all the glory that he is deserving of.

Goals This Year

I know it’s a little late to put all these down.

I want to get physically fit, and fit in to nice clothes, so I will run once a week.

I want to connect with my cell group here, any suggestions how I can do it?

I want to get 2 Ds and a C for my first semester here. D means distinction, and C means credit.

I want to abide in God, I will spend at least 15 minutes in prayer and Bible reading each morning.

Actually these could even be good goals and habits to cultivate for my life.

Dreaming Awake

I know I miss my father when I imagined that he was in the house I was in.

I had just woken up from a nap and I thought I heard my dad talking, outside my room, my heart skipped and I wanted to run out there and greet him.

Then I realised, we were a couple thousand miles apart.

But like Chick Benetto’s mother said, I quote from memory, “You can never lose your mother”.

You also can never lose your father.

I love my mother and father.