Giving without Receiving

What do you do when you give someone a gift and they receive it unenthusiastically?
Do you think you chose a bad gift?
Give the person the benefit of the doubt?
Maybe she’s had a long day, she’s tired, she’s probably thinking about more important things.
Even when I put so much effort into it?
Why is there such a struggle to give and not expect anything in return?
Just some enthusiasm?
I don’t ask for promises of undying love.
I too cannot promise undying love.
Still is it too much to ask?
Damn tug of war.

Post #109

Lyrics for a new song?:
Just because he says he loves you means he does
Just because he kisses you doesn’t mean anything
She too.

From the moleskine:
23 Jan
My fingers have been trained to key your number everytime.
I want someone who loves life.

Silence silence…

Today
Boys can also be played.
She always said, “I am reapding what I sowed”, and she tells me the same is happening for me.

The first time in months my fing e r s did not press that sequence of n u m b ers in a full day.

My mind however was not spared.

Imagine an ugly stick figure and the caption, “So I hold an eraser over my heart, and erase with all my strength”

What I worked to hard to build, all built on sand. Even if I didn’t want to destroy it, it’d fall apart anyway.

Tomorrow, I mean like, Monday:
I ask you if I will see you..
Message may have not been sent because a timeout occurred:
So I ask again
Message may have not been sent because a timeout occurred:
You disconnected.

No fate. Sibeh suay.

On Nail Clippers

I dislike blunt nail clippers, so do you. I mean who likes blunt nail clippers? Maybe you do.

The worst nail clippers are the blunt ones that give you a french manicure after you clip your nail. You know how it doesn’t clip your nail clean and then it just cuts some and pushes half your nail up making it white, like a french manicure, only you didn’t ask for it!

Then there are those that are sharp in the centre region, it takes of the nail clean but leaving the side stuck to your main nail. What happens? You have to peel it off right?

It was with “great conviction” that I “beseech” you to join me in this “quest” to change the world for our future generations, into a world where all nail clippers are good and sharp. Change the world into a place where things and people do what they are supposed to do!

PS: Woo that last sentence is super loaded.

PPS: I learnt how to use “loaded” like this from Sharon.

My Accent

Just added this to my about page, hehe.

Kris, a friend of mine commented that my accent was inconsistent in this song and this is what I told him. I said, “I am a Singaporean raised in an former British colony, taught British English, fed American media since I was young, and I now study in Australia!” How to have consistent English accent leh?

A Note on Prayer

“It is not really the case that we are prayerless. It is just that we have such an exalted conception of prayer that we have overlooked the many prayers that we have despised as unworthy of the name of prayer.” – Lee Irons

Got this quote through Between Two Worlds. Insightful post on prayer.

Prayer is the Christian’s breath, it shouldn’t be so hard rather it should be effortless, like breathing. You don’t pant the whole day do you?

Oyster Friend: Maisie Tan

Since I went out with her today, let me blog about this oyster friendship.

Let’s see.. We knew each other in 2001 when I first visited Grace Assembly of God (A/G). Many do not know this, but she was the person that invited me to Grace A/G.

She was one of the first people I knew in Grace but we weren’t that close initially lah. I don’t know when, but somewhere along the years we became closer through the many Grace Retreats and Youth Camps(?) and and and! Post-service Sunday lunches!

There was this time at a retreat at Sunway Lagoon! Uh.. Nevermind.. Hahaha..

As the years passed we became closer and established a older brother, younger sister relationship. (We’re all family in the body of Christ right?) I really don’t know how it developed, the time has passed so quickly! Maisie was just counting the years we have been friends and she exclaimed, “7 years already!”.

Two things strike me right now as I think about this friendship, the two things are Trust and Wavelength. There’s a considerable amount of trust in each other, resulting in openness and honesty when we share. Such is hard to find between a boy and a girl, I think.

Then there’s wavelength. We can click! I think I can click we all my oyster friends. That’s why they are precious! There are many things that we say and do that tickle each other! The time that we spend is refreshing, funny, meaningful, you know all good times.

Thank you dear friend! Like you said, “We’re friends for life”. She wants me to be her wedding photographer k? I really thank God for you!

I was just thinking about having myself a dinner in 2011, marking 10 years of friendship with the people I’ve known in Grace A/G. Heh, God willing it will happen.

Here are some pictures we took:

I think we really like to do funny faces! Hahaha.. This also happens to be post #100 at this blog!

PS: I had typed MSN before the sudden realisation that MSN did not exist then or at least it wasn’t the preferred mode of online communication for hip teens in the early 2000s.

To Good Friends

If I had champagne I’d toast it to Jeremy whom I spent today with and other wild nights in my bedroom … playing DOTA. Joey whom I am in constant contact with no matter our geographical location, our hearts remain close (so gay). Jenn who is not always available but when he is makes a point to spend time with me and impart into my life.

Shin Yeong who puts up with too much of my nonsense and has taught me so much. Maisie my little sister whom I never had. Jared my cousin whom I owe much of what I am today to him, I don’t think he knows.

(Notice how the majority of the names of the important people in my life start with the letter J?) Jesus anybody? .)

Each of these friendships are like oysters, every single one has a pearl made of memories, experiences and love in it. I could write a book if I recounted each memory, experience and story.

And and and! I’m not even counting the precious friends I’ve made in Perth. I am so blessed by God for such great people I count as friends. There are many people where I want to get closer and know better! Many lives I hope I can impart into and bless! I love you dear friends!